12 Things To Do When Feeling Isolated or Lonely

Human beings are wired for connection. We need it. Like, we really need it.  Problem is our fancy phones and all this make-the-world-a-better-place technology coming from Silicon Valley appears to be having the exact opposite impact of that which it masquerades — connection. That is, we are becoming more disconnected than ever, which has severe implications on our health, wellbeing, and happiness. And we don't want that.

Here are 12 things you could do when feeling isolated or lonely instead of feeling isolated or lonely because feeling isolated and lonely sucks. And dwelling on it will only ever make it worse:

1. Exercise

Run Forest, run. Or maybe you need a mean yet deeply relaxing stretch — the kind of stretch you'll only ever get from Yin yoga? Not only is exercise great for the body and mind — it pumps you with feel-good endorphins and beats the hell out of feeling lonely. 

2. Educate yourself 

What is it you want to learn or better understand? Why not enroll in a program that will teach you or watch lectures online? Or even better, attend a class with real-life people when all this madness passes.  

3. Read 

A great novel or biography you can get lost in would be preferable, but I could just as quickly suggest a self-help book to help you fight back against loneliness. 

Another wonderful gift you get from reading is that you invariably acquire vast knowledge that allows you to trick people into believing you're smarter and more interesting than you actually are. For instance, did you know the heart has one purpose and one purpose alone? That is to beat, so you don't die. Next time you hear a friend say, "my heart aches for them," you can let them know their heart doesn't give a flying elephant's fuck about their feelings whatsoever...

"Its only concern is beating to keep you breathing baby!"

Just saying. It may or may not backfire. 

4. Talk to someone 

Why not pick up the phone and ask a friend for lunch, dinner, coffee, or any number of activities? Sure, it can feel scary, but loneliness is a real problem not too dissimilar to anxiety or depression. What I mean by that is few people talk about it or admit to it because of shame and shit. 

We're crying out for connection. By reaching out, you might make someone else's day — not to mention your own. And that will feel damn good. What have you got to lose?

5. Listen to music

The health benefits from listening to music are too long to list. Or maybe I'm just too lazy to list them? It's a pretty incredible intervention that can, quick-as-a-flash, transport you to another dimension. 

6. Dance

If you're anything like me, it's probably best you do this one on your own anyway. 

7. Take magic mushrooms

They will also transport you to another dimension. And I guarantee you won't be short of stories arising from the experience to share on your next outing. There's also substantial research on the benefits of psilocybin for improving one's mental health. So I guess I'm not even joking. Although, I wouldn't recommend a solo trip if it's your first time. 

While we are on the subject, I feel compelled to say this: If you've been struggling with your mental health for years and find you’re not making any headway, you have options beyond that which may be deemed "conventional." Psychedelics are gathering serious pace due to their efficacy in treating anxiety and depression. It might be for you. It might not. The options to explore and research are always there. 

8. Daydream 

Speaking of transporting oneself to another dimension — daydream! While it's important to sit with your pain, to practice mindfulness, meditation, and being present, to dive inwards and snoop around all the crap you so desperately want to avoid because it's too painful — sometimes you do need a break…

Not necessarily at the bottom of the bottle, but in the depths of your imagination and creativity. Because sometimes, my dear friend, sometimes being present sucks! And sometimes, the best thing you can do to escape it is to daydream.

9. Build Lego 

Regardless of age or gender, Lego rocks. Full stop. Period. End of story. 

What happiness looks like. I rest my case.

10. Mindlessly scroll through social media

Kidding.

11. Get yourself a dog

It's not a myth. Dogs are the best. 

12. Finally, enjoy it

Some asshole is going to piss you off real soon and you'll be wishing you were alone, so why not get to work on learning to enjoy your own company and ensuring all alone time is sacred time.

Remember, similar to depression and anxiety, the only way to overcome loneliness is through action. Unfortunately, in a vulnerable state, we're drawn to inaction, thus setting off a vicious cycle while creating an environment for our problems to thrive. 

Battles of the mind have to be fought. Strength needs to be sourced. Action has to be taken. You've got this.