Is Too Much Self-Help Bad for Your Mental Health?

While the intention might be a good one — and it's certainly not all bad — I'm not convinced self-help promotes good mental health — especially for those struggling. Which are a great many. I am, however, convinced that much of it is bad for your mental health.

Allow me to explain with a terrible metaphor:

I'm not a great surfer. But I try. One lesson that took me far too long to learn is that I needed to be more explosive with my paddling and timing. Prior, I was paddling too early, draining my energy, and not catching many waves. And as a result — not really enjoying myself.

In many ways, it appears self-help ensures too many are paddling aimlessly without clear direction, draining valuable energy in the process. The intention is good, but the reality is often a desperate struggle for momentum that sees too many paddling upstream against a vicious current.

If you examine the titles of some self-help articles, they are likely to cause someone struggling — who is already extremely self-critical — to criticize themselves even more. When struggling with anxiety or depression, you are battling negativity constantly, so how the fuck is an article on why negative people suck and how to get them out of your life going to help? It’s not. I could go on. And don’t get me started on these fuckers who have a vendetta for anything deemed mediocre as opposed to extraordinary. The thing that shocks me most is those who write them are supposedly mental health advocates who once struggled immensely themselves.

And just to be clear: I am not a fan of woke or cancel culture. That shit’s not helping anyone. I do believe in personal responsibility. So I write these words for you to ask yourself the all-important question: Is the self-help you consume helping?

The following video is a rant exploring the subject further:

When we come up against serious problems in our minds — i.e., anxiety or depression — it takes extraordinary levels of energy, commitment, and courage to bring about real change. All of which is rooted in action. Not in another self-help book or blog.

To change bad habits and routines, behaviors, and beliefs, you need to be intentional, repetitive, consistent, and patient, to name just a few.

You need to force yourself to do shit that you don't want to do because you know it will eventually lead you away from suffering to a better life. And sometimes that means taking a break and having a Kit Kat.

It's a juggling act. And one of the biggest problems with self-help I see is that it literally won't stop firing balls at you, thus making it almost impossible to juggle and, therefore, make any real progress.

Maybe it's time to scale it back, focus on a few things only — what bad habits are causing the most harm? What area of your life are you least satisfied with that, once changed, will have the greatest ripple effect across all other areas?

Be patient, paddle-like-fuck when the time is right, and preserve your energy when it's not. By doing that, I am sure you will make far greater progress than you will if you're aimlessly paddling, confused while expending all energy trying to accomplish too much in too little time. All the while leaning on self-help for more answers to that which you likely already know.

Just a thought.